#ThrowbackThursday That time I think I saw a hooker at Sam’s Club

This unhappy hipster found a vortex in her freezer. We had a freezer vortex too so we had to make a trip to Sam’s Club. A place The Girl doesn’t mind going but I don’t care for it too much because I’m overwhelmed by the really HUGE packages of things. I also don’t have a clue where anything is so I retrace my steps and it takes me hours to do a small bit of shopping. I would also rather scrub a toilet than grocery shop. TG is a master at food shopping and she is in and out of there, money saved, giant slabs of meat purchased. I don’t think it’s fair she always take care of this chore on her own just because I dislike food shopping so I tagged along just to help her out. I’m not sure how much help I was but I made the effort. I don’t think I was in the way, it wasn’t like I was climbing all over the shopping cart, balancing on one foot in the child seat saying: “Lookit! Lookit! No don’t look at the cheese and bread, lookit meeeee!!!!”

But I did provide critiques over the choices: “Why are you getting chicken flavored ramen?” “Is that the kind of steak you really want?” “is that the ‘right’ chicken?” (like she hasn’t bought steak or chicken or ramen without my expertise?) I actually had fun pushing the heavy cart around admiring and having bits of food. But the tastiest bit of a trip to Sams is the people watching because TG doesn’t shop in the suburbs like I do (when I force myself to go alone). What I like most about Inner city Sams is its in the middle of Hipsterville Denver. It’s like 10,000 plus square feet of ironic goodness but the hipsters don’t realize this because there must be an invisible hipster barrier repelling  those in too skinny jeans, fedoras and tat sleeves. The people who shop in the ‘burbs are mostly white. And not just any white folks but the boringly white and middle class. Inner City Sams is a melting pot of people (I’ve blogged about this before) and I always regret being without a camera. Last weekend I think there was a working hooker shopping with us. No obvious hookers at Sams in the ‘burbs.

How do I know this woman was a hooker? Granted I don’t and I’m making an educated guess the thirty-something woman I saw at 2pm wearing a pair of black stretch pants, gold lame six inch stiletto heels, a tight tee shirt, and a slightly askew bouffant wig was probably a working girl. And hey, a working girl’s gotta eat like the rest of us, right? But I think she might have been on an actual date because the man she was with–who possessed the Sams card–was easily 80 plus years old and looked like he was on his way to church in his tweed cap, sport coat and bow tie. Dapper was the first word that came to mind way way before the word “john” popped in my head. This couple moving slowly through the aisles, not looking or speaking to each other brought forth lots of questions:

Was this the “date”? (“I miss my wife so much, will you go shopping with me? I’ll buy your food and give you 50 bucks.”)

Was he buying her groceries in exchange for services rendered? If this is the case God love this woman because she had fresh fruit and vegetables in her cart. (“Baby, keep your money, me and my kids need some groceries so you can just take me to Sams Club.)

Was she his caregiver and just on her way to her night job because non skilled health care workers make crap money and he was possibly mildly demented and didn’t “notice” her sexay cocktail wear?

Was this a regular gig for her or the first time he had asked for a shopping date?

Was he her pimp? Do prostitutes still have pimps in this electronic age? And if he was her pimp who was ultimately going to protect her because this gentleman looked a little frail to protect anyone.

Have I read to many Carl Hiaasen novels and seen too many Elmore Leonard adaptations and am leaping to sleazy conclusions?

Could it be they were just a couple shopping for groceries?

Nah…

About Laura

When my nest emptied I moved from the big city to a little big town to tend to a ramshackle yellow house on the edge of town. These are my Yellow House Days.
This entry was posted in life away from the yellow house, memories. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to #ThrowbackThursday That time I think I saw a hooker at Sam’s Club

  1. Naah. She was a hooker. But the idea of that being a “date” completely cracked me up….

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  2. Hooker had to be! I want to shop where you shop it sounds like fun!

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