A Soul’s Purpose

IMG_0125I turned 54 while we were in Mexico. It was bliss to wake up next to my favorite new boyfriend in the history of my 54 years and it tripled the bliss to be in the Caribbean. But I was freaked out about that number of years. It just sounded so old and an irrational thought occurred to me: what if I wake up on the seventh suddenly feeling old.

 

The great thing about weird catastrophic thoughts is they never come true. I woke up feeling wonderful and young. My health hadn’t suddenly deteriorated; my wrinkles hadn’t deepened and my body hadn’t visibly sagged over night.   I wasn’t haunted by thoughts of: “is this all there is” because I never dreamed I would be this happy, this healthy, and this content with my life. I am haunted a little by a question a couple of writers have put forth: “What is your soul’s purpose?”

 

What the Hell does that even mean? And what if I die without discovering my soul’s “purpose”? Have I found my soul’s purpose and I don’t know it? I think the problem I have with this concept is I am framing it in grandiose terms. Like Steve Jobs soul’s purpose was to revolutionize computers and the marketing of technology. I’m not going to wake up on my birthday with a Macintosh worthy idea that will become my soul’s purpose. This didn’t exactly trouble me on my birthday. I was thinking more about a two cocktail lunch and the possibility of a “snap”. (A “snap” is an afternoon nap featuring nookie) My soul’s purpose that day was hedonistic enjoyment.

 

I’ve continued to think about this concept over the last few weeks and I’ve decided to stop worrying about my soul’s purpose and maybe my last epiphany will be on my deathbed and I have a vision of my soul’s purpose. Maybe I’m not really supposed to know because if I did I might get in the way of divine unfolding by running my life according to the direction I think is appropriate for my purpose. After all, the word “soul” implies an omniscient divine and my life certainly goes better if I follow the voice of my soul—intuition—rather than the road trip my ego wants to take me on.

 

Maybe my soul’s purpose is to witness, love, and nurture the divine unfolding of this messy and beautiful life? And isn’t that ultimately living in the “now”? Something I am aspiring to do every day?

 

It was a beautiful birthday month and I can’t wait to see what this fifty-fifth year holds for me.

 

About Laura

When my nest emptied I moved from the big city to a little big town to tend to a ramshackle yellow house on the edge of town. These are my Yellow House Days.
This entry was posted in at the heart of things, Just me. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to A Soul’s Purpose

  1. Yeah, I’d have taken the snap and run with it. Just sayin’. Happy birthday belated!

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  2. Betty says:

    You are doing just fine! You’re living it. Enjoy.

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    • Laura says:

      After the class I attended today: “Habits of Happy People” I agree with you. I’m living it. Thanks Betty, I take many cues from you and the grace you have lived the last year of your life facing down things I”m not sure I could manage.

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  3. Sammy Swesey-Mosher says:

    It’s about being happy in every moment and every day..that’s what I’ve decided.
    My life purpose is making the people in my life feel loved as well as the ones I meet. A career was never nor will it ever be my life purpose. I tried hard to make it so in my 30’s. Survival and life lessons in my 40’s. I will be 50 this year (shhh..don’t tell anyone) and I am for the first time in many years content with my life. I feel calm and confident. I looove my job now. So it could be age or gratefulness – maybe both – (or maybe it the bio-identical hormones my hubby has me on)
    Who knows.. who cares! live in the moment – there might not be another one…

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  4. One of your most important journeys. Stay with it – retweeted this, by the way, Love the honesty and totally relate!

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  5. Happy Birthday! I believe questions like this are important if they don’t become obsessive. But like Betty said at 7:23, its often a question we’re already answering in practice every day.

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  6. Yes, I think that, often times, ideas like ‘soul’s purpose’ are overblown. Some people take them on and run with them, and the whole thing loses meaning when it is endlessly repeated. We ponder and ponder, until we realize that we know the answer, or that we really don’t care about the question.

    Anita

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  7. T.O. Weller says:

    I think the minute we start wrapping it all up with our ego, we’ve lost it. The pressure can’t be good for the soul, never mind its purpose.
    I’m with Carol Cassara … stick with the now, the moment, and the snap.

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